Addiction
by LucidInsomniac
Summary: When Gamzee Makara is put into counseling for his cleansing period away from drugs, he's also given medication to help with his anger. However, when a hidden secret about his medication is brought to light, his best friend, Karkat Vantas has to find a way to keep Gamzee from going off the deep end with his anger. Rated M for some sexual content at some point and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note (I think this is where they go haha): So for some odd reason, and I don't know if this is happening to anyone else, but I can't seem to go into the tab "Manage Stories". I feel like I've done something wrong? But yes. Now I can't edit over the previous draft of the story I started before. That probably didn't make much sense, but it doesn't matter too much. However, since a good number of people were actually _interested_ in it, I will make a well thought out and planned story. I hope they're not too mad at me. However, for the ones that haven't read it...please enjoy!**

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Chapter 1  
Eye Before the Storm

His vision faded then slowly reappeared. Faded, swayed slightly, and then slowly reappeared. Faded; the room's colors swirled and he found himself blinded by bright lights. He groaned in irritation, his hand lifting to cover his reddened eyes and painted face.

"Gamzee!"

The sudden call jolted his body and caused him to snap from his sleepy daze. He looked at himself slouched in his chair and felt the tentative eyes on him. He sat up and coughed nervously into a balled fist, nodding at the woman. She sighed impatiently, drumming her fingers on the wooden podium irritably as she shook her head.  
"Gamzee," she said with as much kindness to her voice as she could façade, "If you don't want to be here, you don't have to." She pointed to the back. "The door is only ten steps behind you, sir."  
He chuckled, a lazy smile spreading across his face as he looked up at the woman sharply.

"Non can do miss. I won't let it happen again." His southern voice was over powered by a thick and low raspy accent.

The woman nodded and continued her speech about how to cope with being clean from drugs and starting on a new path to a healthy diet.  
Gamzee rolled his eyes, his smile dropped as he glanced at the clock. Only thirty minutes left until he could leave. He mumbled gruffly under his breath.

The door to apartment 413 was opened. A 5"2 man stepped inside, throwing his bag on the floor. His name was Karkat Vantas.

Karkat wasn't but nineteen years old and starting his first year in college. The stress that college usually brought showed clearly on his face. His crimson eyes were blood shot and carried bags, his hair was always a mess of brown locks that shaped his face, and his skin was pale from lack of time he spent outside. To add, his temper wasn't much better either.

A vibration sent him patting himself down and cursing. Once he retrieved his ancient flip phone from his pocket, he yawned into the receiver.  
"Hello?" His voice was abnormally loud and also, due to a late start in puberty, was higher as well. The voice that greeted him back was much more relaxed and straight to the point. A lisp staining his words as he spoke.  
"Hey, Karkat, I need the notes you guys took today in Home Ed."  
Karkat's brow twitched and his grip on the phone tightened. "Dammit, Sollux, I just got inside. You want me to march my ass back up to the campus in the fucking cold to deliver notes to you?"  
There was a pause.  
"Please?"  
"Fuck you."  
Static crackled through the speaker as an obvious means of a sigh.  
"C'mon, kk. I wouldn't be taking the shitty class if I didn't have to. I mean I'm a hacker for fuck's sake! I don't want to waste my time on Home Ed, but I have to. Just spare me this once."  
It was Karkat's turn to sigh as he picked up his bag and opened the door.

"Be outside when I get there, asshole."

He snapped the phone shut in the middle of the other's thanks and the door slammed shut, leaving an audible echo throughout the house.

It was almost ten at night when the door opened once again. It was dark by then and the only light was the one coming from the phone illuminating Karkat's face. His brows knitted together in confusion.

"It's ten and his sessions end at nine."

He kicked the door closed with his foot and dropped his bag on the floor as he crossed the room to sit on the couch. He texted furiously on his phone and leaned back, huffing.

"Why aren't you answering my fucking texts, douchebag?" He muttered to himself as the clicking of his phone's keyboard continued.

After another five minutes, four tried calls, and one more text, Karkat stood. He shoved his phone into his pocket, anger bubbling in him. He reached for the doorknob and threw the door open.

Indigo eyes widened and locked with his in surprise. Karkat's eyes burned a hole into him as he threw his hands up in fury.

"Where the hell were you, Gamzee?! You were supposed to be here a fucking hour ago!"

The brown bags the other was struggling to carry lowered enough for the clown's lazy face to show completely. Gamzee Makara frowned apologetically, brushing pass him.

"Sorry, karbro." He set the bags down on the counter and turned to face him. "We got finished kind of early so a motherfucker decided to pull together some money to go get some grub for the month."  
"A fucking hour though?" Karkat growled, however his glare much softer now.  
Gamzee nodded. "Well, I went downtown to get them. A motherfucker was all up and thinking the lines wouldn't be stretching for miles, but I couldn't have been more fooled. I chilled in line for a good thirty minutes just getting my wait on."

Karkat relaxed and came to stand in front of him, tipping his head back slightly to look at him. With the two standing next to each other, it was quite easy to tell the many differences that stood out between them. Their heights being the first thing. Gamzee was about 6"2 while Karkat only stood less than a shoulder against him. Gamzee was muscular, lean, and had a caramel complexion while Karkat was a bit curvy and had a pale snow white glow. Gamzee's hair was black, thick, and untamed while Karkat at least gave his thin locks a good brush before he left every morning. They were often mistaken as a couple with Karkat's minor girly features and the fact that most mornings he stole away with Gamzee's jacket when he didn't have time to get his own.

Their personalities were different as well, which threw a lot of people off when they got together. Karkat was always a ball of fury waiting to explode, but Gamzee was very chilled and easy going. Most assumed the two would be the most incompatible people on Earth, but there they were under the same roof. Actually getting along. It wasn't long until people finally gave up trying to understand them and left the secrets of their functioning relationship to them. And in reply, they were fine with it like that.

Karkat looked him up and down before punching his chest. Gamzee gave a grunt in return, smiling slightly.

"Answer my fucking texts next time, dick."

He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. His hand came down on Karkat's head and rubbed the chocolate locks out of place.  
"I will, but a motherfucker had his hands kind of full at the moment."

Karkat blushed lightly and quickly swatted his hand away, taking groceries out of the bags. Gamzee let out a lazy chuckle watching him through narrowed slits. He loved how much Karkat's guard let up from a simple touch and it showed so evidently. Of course the little hot head would furiously deny it, only to making it worse on himself. He'd become a stuttering mess and his cheeks would flush to the prettiest red he had ever seen. It made his chest tighten and he couldn't help, but admire it. With one last chuckle, he turned on heel and dragged his feet over to their bathroom. He flicked the light on and opened the medicine cabinet.

Karkat began to put away the food and it suddenly clicked as to what it was he was putting away. He looked down in his hands and saw frozen berries and pie crusts. He glanced back at the food on the counter and saw milk, eggs, different meats, different vegetables, and oranges. His brow raised.  
"What happened to instant noodles and T.V dinners, Gam?" He called out.  
"You can't always be up and eating that brain rotting shit." He called back. "And I wanted to make my motherfucking wicked pies this week. You love my pies."  
Karkat shrugged and put the stuff away without question. He knew doubting the guy's logic would end in thoughtless slurs of poetry and talks about the "mirthless messiahs" he worshipped so.

It wasn't too long after the groceries were put away that Gamzee emerged from the bathroom shirtless and his face cleaned of paint.  
"Karkat." His voice was gruff.

The chocolate waves turned from the fridge to meet him and his eyes couldn't help, but fall on the toned muscles Gamzee had as he leaned against the wall. Every curve and every line had him blushing like a little school girl. Seeing his face naked of paint made it worse as he got a clear look at his sharp jaw line and features.  
"Karkat."  
"What?!" He groaned, his eyes snapping to his.

"I ran out of pills. I need the motherfuckin recharge quick." He threw an empty orange bottle to him and Karkat flimsily caught it. He examined the bottle and sighed.  
"You're really running through these, Gamzee. Are you seriously taking two a day like the doctor prescribed?"

He shrugged in reply and scratched his chest. "Does it really even matter, Karbro? I mean the chiller I am the brighter the motherfuckin sun will shine, right?"  
Karkat stood on that notion and rubbed his neck. "No, Gamzee, not right. The amount is there for a fucking reason. So you don't overdose, dumbass."

"Yeah, well, I'm empty," he shrugged. "Since you don't like it when I'm a motherfucking woman on her period pmsing ready to sling the mighty blade of judgment on people might as well refill them."

Karkat's eyes glanced up at his and he caught the other's smirk. He growled and looked away, setting the bottle on the counter. He would've had more to say if it were true that Gamzee was only a woman on her period, pmsing. However, it was worse than that and knowing it made him feel obligated to do something.

"Fine. We'll go first thing in the morning."

Gamzee chuckled and as he turned, he said lazily, "That's a trooper."

Karkat smiled slightly as Gamzee walked away. For the guy being ditzy, zoned out most of the time, and overall annoying, he couldn't help, but admit that he had at least a sliver of admiration for him. But only a sliver.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Are They sweet?

Karkat let out a tight yawn as he and Gamzee walked inside of the doctor's office. It was hard to tell it was a highly recommended and five star clinic due to the simple fact that it looked like the inside of a cabin you'd see at middle school camp. While it gave off a homey type vibe that usually relaxed, otherwise, anxious patients, it also had a layer of calm atmospheric tranquility. The only sign that told it was a clinic were the two women working at the front desk in their blue scrubs. However, with its homey features, Karkat still managed to feel queasy in his stomach.

"I fucking hate this place. It looks like a fucking horror scene out of a movie."  
Gamzee glanced down at him, a smile placed crookedly on his face. He knew well enough Karkat's fear of hospitals. Frequently, he would visit them with his father because of his occupation, so it has to be said that the guy has seen some things. He stayed quiet, though, observing the office instead. The classroom set of chairs were placed in a square and the sickly green looking curtains were drawn back to pour sunlight in through the massive windows. It was empty except for one person with an ice bag over his mouth, but other than that, business looked slow.  
They sat down in the waiting area and Karkat quickly shrugged off his jacket. "It's so fucking hot and it smells like dog shit in here. Can't they use something else other than shitty Lysol products? It's fucking killing me with this smell. Oh sweet authority from up above, I come to fucking meet thee because of this horse ass smell." He grumbled, pinching his nose. It caused another smile to spread on Gamzee's face. Karkat sure did know how to complain, but that was just one of many traits he loved about him.

He sighed and slouched in his chair, throwing his hood over his head to hide his eyes from the bright fluorescent lights. He laced his fingers over his chest and let his mind drift. It wandered aimlessly through the vast space in his head until it settled on something of two years ago…

A brown headed boy, either side of his head shaved, peered up at Gamzee. He smiled a crooked, nervous smile that made Gamzee's heart flutter. He couldn't help, but place a hand on the boy's cheek and pull him into a hug. In reply to his docile actions, the boy wrapped his arms around his broad back and nuzzled his head into his chest. This boy was none other than Tavros Nitram. Gamzee only pulled him closer in fear of losing him. That was his only fear.

Tavros squirmed in his grip and he loosened his hold, glancing down at him with a lazy smile.  
"Gamzee," he said softly, "you're not going to leave, right?"  
This earned a surprised gaze and he shook his head quickly and repeatedly, pulling the other back into a tight hug.  
"What in the great old messiah's age would make you ask that?" He huffed, running his fingers in his hair.  
He shrugged and his fingers clenched into the fabric of Gamzee's shirt. "I don't know."

Gamzee relaxed against him and chuckled, "I'd never pack my shit and hit the dusty road without you, Tavbro."

Tavros smiled weakly against the other's chest. He was extremely happy and to prove it he looked up at him and gave his cheek a tender kiss. Gamzee blushed lightly behind his paint and chuckled at the white that stained Tavros' lips. He took his thumb and ran it against them and smiled, not wanting this moment to end. Though, moments came and went.

Tavros began to go limp and the other lifted a curious brow. "Tavbro?"

No response.

Gamzee's heart began to speed up and he nudged him a little. "Tavbro, quit playing. I know you're being fake as a motherfuck."

No response.

He gripped the other by his shoulders and shook him, and his head fell limp to the side. "Tavbro, wake up!"

No response.  
He panicked as the color began to leave Tavros' face and his chest falls became slower and slower. The best he knew to do was simply hold him tight to his chest and he couldn't help, but chant, "Wake up, wake up, wake up…"

He rocked his little boy back and forth as he felt the other's last breath on his neck. His eyes widened and he shook his head, tears streaming and smudging his paint.

"No, Tavbro, you have to…"

"Wake the fuck up!"

Gamzee's body jolted and his eyes opened. They were bloodshot as they darted around to familiarize his surroundings. Karkat stood over him, his usual glared on his face as he crossed his arms.  
"I said wake the fuck up! I got your shitty prescriptions." He tossed the white bag over to him and turned.

He clumsily caught it as he slowly sat up and rubbed his reddened eyes, bringing his hood down.  
"Wow." He blinked, eyeing the bag. "That was fast, Karbro."

Karkat was already one foot out the door as he called over his shoulder. "Hurry the fuck up! I have other errands to run."

He slowly pulled himself up and dragged his feet out the door, ruffling Karkat's hair and chuckling as he walked out. "Yeah, yeah, calm those motherfuckin erect tits before they give you high blood pressure."  
The younger scoffed and raised a censored finger. "Speak for yourself, dick. That's why we're here, right? Because you have fucking problems with your anger."

As they got to the car, Karkat's eyes widened from the sudden chill running up his spine. He cursed quietly and waved at Gamzee to start the car. He went back inside the clinic and came back to his chair where his jacket lay. He grumbled even more, pulling it on and turning toward the door. Hand on the knob, one of the clerks called for him and he turned. She had short brown hair in the style of a bob and a pale complexion. She had freckles that dotted her face and dull brown eyes.

"You're the one with that big fella, right?" she asked.  
He nodded and lifted a brow, taking note of her sloppy appearance. "Why?"

She became quiet suddenly. A nervous look took hold of her features as she rubbed her hands, contemplating. However, her partner stood and leaned over the desk as if to tell a secret. She had blonde hair and bright green eyes. She seemed more pulled together in appearance than the girl with freckles.

"Look, it's our first week here and we're kind of new to all this medical stuff." She shrugged, waving her hand and Freckles found her words.  
"Not that we haven't already learned most about the medical field!" She said hurriedly, "But we were talking as we filled his prescription and I just wanted to ask-"  
Karkat groaned in irritation and waved to hurry things up. "I don't have all fucking day. Spit it out."  
Blondie sighed and nodded. "How long has that guy been on sugar pills?"

Shocked by their question, he stood wide eyed. He'd never been asked that before and the want to know made him go stiff with uncertainty of what to say. It was a secret that Gamzee wasn't supposed to know because everyone that knew him knew his anger. His wrathful, blood-thirsty, and merciless anger. The simple placebo effect had gone too far when they first tried to tell him that his pills were just sugar. He went almost crazed and it took four burly security guards and a taser to his back to save the doctor he'd ruthlessly pinned to the wall by his neck. It was the first time Karkat had ever seen him in such a way and unfortunately, it was Gamzee's true colors. So at all cost, he wanted to keep that secret hidden from him. Not because he felt Gamzee deserved the truth, which he rightfully did, but because he felt that it was better that Gamzee's anger was caged in fear of what he's capable of doing.

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders finally.

"About a year and a half now."  
The ladies nodded and turned to each other to talk about it. Karkat took that moment to slip out.

When he was buckled in the car, he turned his head to the window. Gamzee glanced at him a few times before pulling out of the parking lot. Karkat sighed.

"So…Gamzee?" His tone was surprisingly softer as he spoke, anxiously rubbing his fingers.  
The clown honked at him in response, one hand on the wheel and a slight glance towards him.  
"Are those pills pretty gross when you down them?"  
He shrugged. "That's a pretty peculiar motherfuckin question, Karbro, but nah. They're pretty good."  
"Are they sweet?" He asked, his tone even softer.  
Gamzee's hand tightened slightly on the wheel, his mind spitting out many curious questions that stemmed from Karkat's sudden questioning. He bobbed his head and shrugged again.

"Yeah."

Karkat sighed and propped his chin into the palm of his hand. The rest of the car ride was quiet after he'd mumbled under his breath.  
"Good." 


End file.
